Well, it's no question that we're blessed. We have a wonderful little boy who we love more than life itself, we have a wonderful ward that we are in, good friends to spend time with, wonderfully reduced rent, and a Heavenly Father who loves us.
That being said, we found out some horrible news today. After realizing I was spotting earlier today, I called the doctors and let them know. They had me come in and they did another ultrasound. We were able to see the baby, but it no longer had a heart beat. The doctor measured it and it looks as though it stopped developing at around 9-10 weeks (I was 11 weeks, 2 days). This is very shocking, and I'm admittingly past feeling. I'm just so shocked, I think. I just can't believe it!! I had some nagging doubts/suspicions a few weeks ago but then they went away. I never really thought I would actually lose the baby!!!!
This whole experience has just been such a roller coaster ride!! The month of August was the month that we decided to not even think about getting pregnant, so imagine my surprise when on the last fews of August, I found out that I was pregnant!!!! It was just so unexpected and I was AMAZED that it finally happened!!!! So we were happy and excited. I waited and waited for my first appointment and it finally came. So we went and found out the hard news that it was possible we would lose it. We waited that 2 weeks until the next ultrasound where we found out we were indeed going to have a baby! We were just so shocked and amazed that the baby actually pulled through! We couldn't believe it! And now today....just saddness and unbelief.
When I think about it, I still feel as though it was a miracle. It just didn't add up. I should have lost this baby 6 weeks ago! But we believe that this spirit just needed these short 11 weeks and that was it. I don't know if this will be one of the opportunities of raising it in the Millenium or not, but I hope so. I have no idea the way these things work, but I do know that it lived as long as it needed to. It really must have been a very special spirit to only have to live 11 weeks.
I don't really know where to go from here. This is such a difficult struggle, but I am grateful for the knowledge of the gospel and for my husband's knowledge. I know that I have lots of friends around me who will help me out too, but it still will not be easy and will have its moments...I remember this from last time.
6 days ago
11 comments:
That is very sad news. I am so sorry. We will pray for you guys.
I am so sorry. We love you and will be praying for you and your family. Let me know if I can do anything and I mean anything...Please just call.
Oh Amy, when I heard the news my heart just dropped. I wish so much that this didn't happen to you, but I am so glad you know that this must be part of Heavenly Fathers plan. Please know that I am praying for you, and I will do anything I can for you.
I am so sorry to hear that. You are such an amazing person, but that is a tough thing for anyone to handle. Don't forget even though we have moved miles away, I will always be your neighbor, and friend; I still have the same number and if you ever need someone to talk to I am just home with Claire (Seriously, day or night). Good luck and hang in there.
We love you.
i am so sorry amy. i am just so glad that you have little michael to hold and love.
I am so sorry for your loss. You have such strength and I'm learning so much from you and your trials. Hang in there!
I am so sorry to hear about your loss, Amy. I was so excited when you posted that you were pregnant, and now saddness for your loss. While I cannot fully understand what you and your family are going through right now, I do understand Heavenly Father's plan and I believe that you will get to raise that sweet child one day. Hang in there hun... I'll keep you (and your family) in my prayers. God speed!
Amy, sorry for your loss. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. love ya!
I'm so sorry Amy. I've been thinking about you so much lately. I've kept you and your family in my prayers, I hope you guys are doing okay. Let me know if there's anything I can do.
I send you lots and lots of love. Things like this are truly so so hard. I have only had one, but it was a very very tuff experience for me. I send you a lot of love and hope you can find strength to handle it all.
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