Okay, so we have a question and would LOVE to get some feedback and advice on it! Here's the deal:
Michael is going to a preschool at a near by elementary school. He absolutely LOVES it there and gets very excited about going. The problem is his class is right smack dab in the middle of when I work. He goes from 8:30 to 10:30 each Tuesday and Thursday. I work from 8:00 to 12:30, and my job requires me to have the car (we only have 1) and I'm in homes all through out the community during that time. It works out fine because Michael can take the bus. This is where the problem lies.
When Michael first found out he could ride the bus, he was ECSTATIC!!! His whole face lit up and it was all he could talk about! The first day came and he did just fine. He didn't talk about it at all after that. Not a word. Now, this is kind of normal, for him, I think. After he's done something once it's not a big deal anymore. But the last few mornings of preschool he's been a bit hesitant.
About a week ago (after riding the bus maybe 2 times) he asked if I could go on it with him. I explained that I couldn't and he seemed fine. Today when we were getting ready to leave the house, he started whining a bit and said he didn't want to go on the bus. We told him he had to and, again, he seemed fine. He maybe mentioned it a few times after that, but it wasn't a big deal. But Nathan said that when he got home today, he was a bit upset. He said he wanted to ride in the car to school. Nathan asked him if he liked going on the bus and Michael said No. This really surprised Nathan and he asked Michael why. It sounds like Michael is trying to say they're mean to him. Now, this gets kind of tricky because with Michael's speech delay, it's tough to know for sure what Michael is really saying a lot of the time. But he kept saying this over and over again. It really does sound like he's trying to say they're mean to him. We try asking him how they're mean, what they do, all the follow-up type questions, but he doesn't answer. He might not understand the question or not know how to answer it, but he doesn't tell us anything. We do ask him if he likes the bus and he answers, every time, with a resounding no.
So now we're wondering, What do we do??? I hope they're not mean to him on the bus. I know that the assistants really seem to be in a bit of a hurry to get him on. Nathan walks him to the bus and up a few stairs and then the assistant just picks him up and the doors close and the bus leaves. That is a bit concerning to us, just becuase I don't know how they treat him after the doors close and the bus is on its way. How quickly do they put him in the restraints, do they jar him a bit, does he not like it, etc. We've thought about putting an audio recorder in his back pack or something and leaving it on to see if we can hear anything, but I don't know if that's a good idea. I would hate to have the assistants find it or the preschool see it. That could get kinda awkward. I have thought about asking the preschool teachers how Michael appears when he gets into the classroom and how he acts when they line up for the bus. But Michael is such an easy going child that I'm not sure they would notice anything abnormal about him or his behavior. I imagine Michael is pretty quiet about it. He only talks to us in a small whisper and just once. I'm not sure if he'd be comfortable expressing himself to the teachers.
Or do we just ignore it and hope that Michael gets more excited about it or something. My worry there is that he would feel like we didn't care or take the time or consider it a big deal. I don't want him to get a negative idea of buses or to get scared of going on a bus in the future.
So, what would you do??? We would LOVE feedback!!! Please, even if you don't have children of your own, or if they're not school aged children, give us your ideas!
Also, a little note about comments. I know there are a good amount of people who read this blog and never comment. Please, feel free to comment!!!!! Even if we've never met before and/or you live in a completely different country than we do, I would still love to hear from you and get your feedback! This goes for all our posts on this blog! :)
6 days ago
9 comments:
I would definitely talk to his teachers about it and see if they have any suggestions. Even if they are just aware that he isn't handling it well, they might be able to help. Good luck!
Your job is to be his advocate. Definitely listen to what he is saying and talk to his teachers. If he doesn't like going on the bus, I would try to figure out a way for him not to take the bus. Maybe there are some neighbors that can help? I hope you get it figured out. Michael is a sweet boy and deserves the best.
I also think that you need to look into it more. Make sure that nothing really is good on. Talk to his teachers or maybe find out who the bus driver is and talk to them. Good luck!
I agree with the other comments. Definitely listen to Michael. Little children do not hold back the truth when they really need to express it. Talk to the teachers. Find out if the bus has a camera on it, and if it does, do they use it? I'm sure you can ask the school district to see the recordings if you feel a concern. You are his advocate, and you have the right to know why he was excited at first, and then all of a sudden stopped liking it (if that is the case). Keep talking to him and figure out what he is telling you. Maybe have him draw you a picture to see if that helps get his point across. I hope it all turns out. (Sorry this is so long. As a former teacher, I know about parent concerns and going through bad times with them).
Amy DEFINETLY be concerned about it, a lot of times the aids don't have the patience they should with children who have speech impediments, or other disabilities. I know this because of my sister and a incident she witnessed with her son who rode the bus, but he cannot speak and couldn't tell her that that things were wrong on the bus not because of kids teasing, but because the adults don't know how to handle children with special needs. I know it is a difficult situation with your work and all, but maybe you can find someone to drop him off and pick him up! I know there are a lot of wonderful people in the ward who would help. I hope it all works out for you! I am sure it will, and isn't it great when your kids LOVE pre-school?
So maybe you have already decided on an answer to this, sorry I am so late in posting. But in case you haven't, I would definitely talk to the teachers to see if they have noticed anything-- it's always good to be 'involved' in what is going on, and teachers can give good insight, or become aware that there may be an issue-- more eyes are always welcome. Then I was thinking, that if the school isn't too far away could Nathan walk with Michael to school? I don't know which elementary school he goes too, but if it isn't too far, then they could walk, especially since the weather is getting so much better. Anyway, it looks like you have received a lot of good advice. Good luck and let me know if there is anything I can do.
Amy - I agree with everything everyone said about talking to his teachers and noticing if they've seen the same behavior. And maybe, you could take a morning off and ride with him on the bus...parents should be allowed to do that for special cases...but just ride it as an observer. Watch how everyone treats him. You have the responsibility and RIGHT to make sure he's getting the treatment he deserves. (I'd probably go crazy on someone if I knew they were doing or saying something mean to Emma.:)
I agree, Amy. Check out the bus video if possible, talk to the teachers, and possibly talk to the bus aides (if that seems right to you). I'm sure they are being impatient.
Honestly, I can't believe your 3 year old can and WILL take a school bus. There is NO WAY our 4 year old would even do that. She is so worried about being separated from us in unfamiliar situations. She liked preschool, but it was at a lds woman's home and she felt safe there. I just think he's a real adventurous guy! Kyrstin would probably be freaked by the bus... even though she loves to see them and point them out. Maybe your little guy just decided that he doesn't feel safe on the bus, but not necessarily because of being mistreated. Although, he seems like the kind of personality that would only complain if someone wasn't actually meeting a need, etc.
Good luck with it! What a tough situation. Maybe there is someone who can help you get him there and back. But in the end, if by chance there is no one to help you get him there and you can't figure out why he doesn't like the bus... just remember to pray about it & I'm sure you'll know the best thing to do. Maybe he can do preschool next year? Or maybe there will be someone to help you. Or maybe your work schedule can change a bit.... its just such a hard thing. Keep us posted! and definitely listen to Michael & be his advocate.
Amy, Carly rides the same bus as Michael, and she too was excited the first time when the bus came. Now when the bus comes she races to the other side of the parking lot. It almost seems like its more of the game, but when I tried to talk to her she was saying she much rather stay home, which doesn't surprise me with all the appointments she has been having lately. And from what she was saying its because they buckle her in like a "baby" (a 5 point-harness) which she absolutely detests. Which we use as a sort of punishment/loss of privilege when she unbuckles her seat belt. I don't know what kind of a booster seat Michael has, but that might be a part of the issue. Feel free to call me or email me, since Carly only rides the bus to school and would be willing to pick Michael up and bring him home.
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